I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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