handjob tips. give me some.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
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