remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
