Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize