Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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