I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
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