Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize