I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Randomize
