haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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