So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
