She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
My breasts were aching with rage.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
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