btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
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