TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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