i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
