glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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