Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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