I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
