i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
