Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
