I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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