2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
