Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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