i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
