tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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