theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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