i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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