I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
