i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
