Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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