please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
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