she was so not down for the gang bang
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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