just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
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