I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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