i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize