oh god the rape fog is back!
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Randomize
