it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
he puts the penis in happiness.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Randomize
