when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
