I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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