I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Less talking, more tequila
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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