Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Randomize