Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
