I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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