dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
