if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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