I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
