In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
