I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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