No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
