Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
