You can't special order awesome
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
