You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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