Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
