Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
