you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
