at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
