New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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