the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
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