my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
