I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Randomize
