If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
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