i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
did you just send me my own nude
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
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