ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Green mimosas i think yes
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize