I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
