Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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