I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
