so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
