I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I can't turn off my feet"
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
