last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
